Until The End
by TheOddFandom
Summary: One night, after the tragic deaths of Kurogane and Sakura, Syaoran goes into Fai's room, and Fai doesn't stop him. So begins their tragic relationship. MxM Syao/Fai. Rated M just in case.
1. Chapter 1

_So who wants a really depressing and odd Tsubasa fanfiction where Kurogane and Sakura are dead, and as a result Syaoran and Fai become attached to each other far beyond what they should?_

 _Too bad, I'm writing it anyway._

 _Let's get this straight, by the way. As it says in my profile, (I'm writing this on Google Docs right now, but transferring it later) I ship KuroFai and SyaoSaku. KuroFai is most likely my eternal OTP, (though maybe you don't believe me now) and SyaoSaku is probably also up in the top ten. (If I include straight ships)_

 _But I read this fanfic, which was actually a threesome between Kurogane, Fai, and Syaoran, and not at all depressing, and it got me thinking._

 _This story was born as a result._

 _Sorry if it feels rushed. I didn't exactly put 100% into it._

 _My plans are to make this a long oneshot, but it's possible it might turn into a mini series. I guess I'll type and see which one I'm feeling._

 _Oh, and I know Fai needs Kurogane's blood to survive...But it also never clarifies, and trust me I've looked, (because I'm a superfan who wants to be as accurate as possible) if he still needs it after half of his magic is returned during the final battle. In previous stories I've wrote, I've made it that he still needed the blood, but in this one, let us pretend he doesn't._

 _Because I wrote this one, next I'll write a KuroSaku one, to even it out. I hope it won't be too similar._

 ** _Summary: One night, after the tragic deaths of Kurogane and Sakura, Syaoran goes into Fai's room, and Fai doesn't stop him. So begins their tragic relationship._**

 ** _Warnings: MxM.(Thought most likely won't be explicit) Probably Depressing. Definitely Weird._**

 **Chapter 1: So it Began**

Fai's nights were always filled with nightmares, ever since the deaths. Sometimes the nightmares were about the deaths themselves, and other times they weren't, but they were nightmares always non-the-less. He'd wake, his heart pounding, his blond hair stuck his forehead with sweat, and always, for a brief second, he would have the overwhelming urge to grab the spot next to him, and snuggle tightly into the strong form that had always been there.

But wasn't there anymore.

Sometimes it wasn't until his hand connected with the empty spot, and hit nothing, that he remembered. He would desperately clutch the sheets, and open and shut his eyes, like maybe _this_ was the nightmare, and maybe if he did it enough times, he would wake.

But he never did.

And then, without fail, he would cry.

He knew that Syaoran most likely could hear him too, and he'd try to stop, or at least cry quietly. If Syaoran heard him, he might start to cry himself.

Might? There was hardly a doubt.

And Fai couldn't do that to him, the only one he had left. Well, he did still have Mokona too, and he was so grateful for that.

It had been so sudden…

Kurogane and Sakura….

They had been so happy at first, the four of them, to find that they had landed in Clow, and would be able to visit with Sakura, for as much time as fate would allow.

So happy…

He remembered the joyous shouts as they realized where they were, and the tight hugs as they were reunited after such a long time. Almost two years had passed since their last visit, at least in their time. It was noticeable too, though fortunately, not by much. But just enough. Syaoran was taller, more mature looking. Surely, Fai was not the only one who noticed it.

But they hadn't let that spoil it.

It had been such a good, happy time.

But…

They'd gone out together, the five of them, Mokona included, intending to have a fun day out. Fai had been holding Kurogane's arm, laughing happily. Kurogane was gamely listening to him ramble on, and Fai even saw him smile a couple of times. Syaoran and Sakura had been walking ahead of them, holding hands, and talking together softly. Fai had been so happy for them. He had Kurogane with him all the time, but Syaoran could only see Sakura when, again, fate allowed it.

It had been such a great day.

Fai had thought he'd never forget it.

And he was right.

But not for the reason he had thought.

Because, suddenly, as they were walking, and talking, and laughing, Sakura, sweet, gentle Sakura had collapsed. She wasn't the Sakura that had traveled far and wide through the dimensions with him, but he loved her anyway, and the moment she'd gone down, he'd screamed, and rushed over, followed closely by Kurogane. He remembered the look of horror and terror on Syaoran's face, as he'd shook his beloved princess, trying to get her to stir. Her chest rose and fell with breaths, but her eyes wouldn't open.

They'd run as fast as they could, back to the castle. Kurogane of course, was the one who carried the fallen princess, being the strongest and fastest.

Once they got her back to the castle, she was quickly rushed away, to be looked at by doctors. Kurogane, Fai, Syaoran, Mokona, and all of Sakura's family had waited, half of them practically in tears.

Finally, the doctors had come.

And the news hadn't been good.

Sakura was dying. She had a rare disease, that almost nobody caught anymore. According to their records, it was incurable, and fast acting.

And contagious.

Contagious.

Fai remembered the moment he heard the word. He'd stood completely still, like if he didn't move, none of this was actually happening. What they were saying wasn't possible.

It wasn't .

He'd turned towards Kurogane, who had carried Sakura to the castle, because he was the strongest and fastest. Kurogane looked back at him, and even though he tried to hide it, Fai saw the horrifying truth dawn in his lover's eyes.

The doctors had said there was hope. That not everyone who touched her was necessarily in danger.

So Fai had hoped, even as Sakura lay dying, with Syaoran crying over her, and as she cried back to him, softly whispering to him, that Kurogane would be okay.

He hoped for Syaoran too, who had held her hand the whole walk, and for her family, who must have had contact with her.

But above all, he had hoped for Kurogane. Kurogane had kept him alive, and sane, and without him, Fai wasn't sure he could survive. He couldn't lose his brother, and Ashura, and Sakura, and Kurogane.

Kurogane wouldn't let him touch him. It was for his safety, and Fai knew it, but so badly he wanted to hold Kurogane tightly. If he'd had known that that walk, where he'd held onto Kurogane's arm, would be the last time he'd touched him, he would have held on much tighter.

He would have kissed him one last time.

Sakura died the next day, in the evening. Fai hadn't been there when it happened. He'd spoken to her a few hours before, and she had told him how much she loved him, all of them, and all of the other sweet things he'd expect from Sakura.

Even though he wasn't there, he knew when it happened, because he heard Syaoran's scream from where he was at. He'd run back, and found her lifeless, and Syaoran screamed, and was held back from touching her body. Why had they done that, Fai wondered? Was she still so contagious, that they couldn't even touch her after her death?

Another day had passed, spent by crying. Not just in the castle. The people of Clow had mourned.

Fai almost had hoped at this point, that Kurogane would be okay…

He'd hoped.

And prayed…

So hard…

But then, with Fai standing right next to him, trying to convince him to let him just briefly hold his hand, and maybe about to succeed, Kurogane had collapsed.

They all knew what was going to happen.

And they were right.

He'd stayed next to Kurogane the whole time, waiting. He'd cried, and screamed, and Kurogane had let him.

And then the man that he loved told him goodbye, and told him not to do anything stupid.

Which Fai knew meant not to kill himself.

Promise? He'd asked.

And because it was Kurogane's dying wish, Fai, with tears in his eyes, had promised.

Kurogane told him and Syaoran and Mokona to look after each other.

And then he died too.

It was the end of life as Fai had known it.

He'd fallen into depression, and he wasn't alone. For weeks, neither he, nor Syaoran, nor even Mokona, would come out of the rooms that Sakura's grieving family had granted them.

He kept his promise. Somehow, the wizard who had before long wished to die, and was certifiably suicidal, managed not to kill himself.

He'd thought about it, again and again.

But he had promised.

It had been Kurogane's last wish.

His wish was that Kurogane had killed him right then, as he'd promised he'd do, _If you want to die so badly, I'll kill you myself. Until then, live_ , and spared him all this pain.

Fai hadn't known then, what path he was going to walk on. Really, he'd thought he'd never be able to walk again.

He thought he'd never love again.

But maybe he was wrong.

And maybe he was right.

All the way up until the end, he had never known for sure.

* * *

 _Well, there you have it, it's going to be a mini series._

 _Nothing with serious plot, though, just a lot of angst, I think._

 _Chapter one was all exposition, clearly._

 _Thanks to any who read it, I appreciate it. Even if you didn't like it, and won't stick around, I appreciate you giving it a chance. I've already written out the first three chapters, so I hope you'll read those too._


	2. Chapter 2

**_Sorry this next chapter is so short. As I mentioned, I'm not exactly putting 100% into this, so the chapters are inconsistent with length._**

 _ **I really like it though.**_

 _ **I do.**_

 _ **It's weird. Unexpected.**_

 **Chapter 2: So It Continued**

And their journey had continued. Neither of them wanted it, this much was obvious. But Syaoran had paid this price, to keep traveling. And Fai had nowhere to go. Absolutely nowhere. Valeria held only bad memories, and was a place of death. Celes was gone. He had always assumed that when this journey had finally come to an end, he and Kurogane would go to Japan.

But without Kurogane, Japan meant nothing, and would only bring him pain.

So, when the earring glowed, before Syaoran and Fai had even had the time to talk about all of this, while they were still so deep in their grief, Fai had nodded in reply to the question Syaoran silently asked him with a look.

He'd grabbed Syaoran's hand. It hadn't been on purpose, or something he meant to do. It was just an action, to show to his companion that he was still with him.

But maybe that was where it started.

For many worlds, Syaoran, Mokona, and Fai would simply retreat to the first available place. They didn't search for any feathers. They didn't search for a way to bring the clones back. They would just stay wherever it was they had found shelter, and never emerged, leaving when the earring glowed.

Finally, Syaoran began again to try and search for a way to bring the clones back, and Fai, because he no longer had any other purpose in life, joined him.

He was happy Syaoran had seemingly decided he still had a purpose. He still wanted to see his parents badly enough that it had propelled him back into action. Well, propelled probably wasn't the best word to use. He wasn't excited and enthusiastic, like he once was. Fai suspected he was doing it know more to distract himself than anything else.

Not that he didn't believe he didn't want to see them anymore. Fai wanted to see them too. But he wondered what it would be like, for him, and them, and especially Syaoran, who would then forever be reminded of his lost beloved.

What would they think, when they saw what had happened? Undoubtedly, they would cry. Once they were back, would they travel with what was left of their companions? If they left, would Syaoran go with them?

The thought made Fai want to cry. What would he do, if left all alone? Would Mokona, at least, stay with him?

Despite the fact that they at least had this goal, they weren't looking so hard. Even Mokona wasn't the same. Nobody was. It was clear that they enjoyed it most when a world seemed to have no lead, because instead of going out, they could just stay inside, rest, mourn, and wait for the earring to glow.

Then they would go.

And start again.

And things stayed this way.

Until they changed.

* * *

 _Sorry I'm being such an ass, and not getting to the actual story. I'm writing it with such an odd flow. It should get to the point in the next chapter. I'm probably just going to skip showing them get closer, and in the next chapter, the buildup to what you've all actually come for will have already happened._

 _Though I will explain it, so don't worry about that._


	3. Chapter 3

**Finally, the chapter you (I) have been waiting for!**

 **Chapter 3: So it Happened**

Fai was asleep, in a room in Watanuki's shop. He had been so relieved when they landed here, so glad that they had found a place to rest. A place with friends. The moment they had landed, Watanuki, who had at first come out with a smile, asked, "Where is Kurogane-san?"

He was looking at Fai as he said, logically, and Fai opened his mouth to speak, but the words died in his throat, and all that came out was a choked sob. Syaoran grabbed his hand, and squeezed it, and Fai squeezed back tightly. They had grown closer, in the last few months.

"He's...dead, Watanuki-san." Syaoran said monotonously, and Watanuki's eyes widened.

"What? How? When? Why didn't you tell me?"

They could have contacted him through Mokona, but they hadn't. The thought had just never occurred to Fai. And maybe Syaoran and Mokona were in too much pain to consider it too.

They'd told him then, what had happened to their beloved companions, and by the end, Watanuki, and Black Mokona, who had eagerly come bounding out, were crying. Which of course, only made Fai's crying worse.

Watanuki had shown him to a room, and Fai had fallen gratefully onto the bedding, and gone to sleep. Now that he was here, a place where he knew there were no feathers, and no leads on the clones, he could sleep, and not remember, at least until the nightmares finally came again.

This was what he was doing, when he heard his bedroom door crack open. He opened his eyes, looking around for a sign of who it was. The frame filling the door was easy to place.

"Syaoran-kun?" he asked. "Is something wrong?"

It was dark, but he could detect the slight shaking of the brunette's head.

"No, Fai-san. I just came to…"

He drifted off, and Fai, at least a little interested, sat up.

"Came to what?"

Instead of speaking, Syaoran only came closer, until finally Fai could see him more clearly. The boy, though perhaps boy wasn't the correct word for him anymore, he was after all, when you took into account his rewound years, at least twenty-three years old, had a look in his eyes. It was a look Fai knew well, after years of wearing it before, and having worn it again ever since Kurogane and Sakura had died.

It was an empty look, that somehow still managed to be filled with pain, and loss, and was pleading for some sort of help.

A moment later, Syaoran was in front of him, on his knees, and leaning over the blonde, so that their faces were only inches from each other.

Fai couldn't say he didn't see this coming.

In the last few months, things had changed between them. Before, he had honestly thought of Syaoran as more of a son, the way he had thought of Sakura as a daughter, and the same with the clones. But now…

The way he used to hold Kurogane's arm, with two of his, he had begun to do to Syaoran, but much more tightly then he had ever felt the need to do with Kurogane, clutching him like the brunette might vanish at any moment. The way Syaoran had started to dislike it when Fai was out of his sight for too long, and became obviously nervous. The way they had held hands. At first, it would only be as a means of comfort, but slowly, Fai had started grabbing his hand randomly, and Syaoran had let him. He'd also let him cry into his shoulder, and Fai had done the same.

Had Mokona noticed too, he wondered?

He couldn't pinpoint the exact moment it had started.

And he couldn't say what order these events had transpired. But even still.

Fai had known it was leading to this.

Which was why he said nothing as Syaoran closed the gap between them, and pressed their lips together. Why he wasn't going to stop it. His heart was broken, after Kurogane had finally managed to piece it back together. He needed somebody to heal him again. Or at least try to. Pretend to, even. Something.

Anything.

It wasn't like kissing Kurogane. By the time of his death, he and Kurogane had kissed many times, and even during their first kiss, Kurogane had seemed as assured as he always did.

Syaoran was much more tentative. Maybe Sakura and he hadn't had many chances to kiss.

And maybe they hadn't kissed at all.

When Fai didn't immediately pull away, Syaoran became a little more brave, and put his arms on Fai's shoulders, pushing him back onto his bedding. Fai let him, and even reached his hands up to wrap around Syaoran's neck.

He tried not to compare, tried not to remember how strong Kurogane was, and how much Fai had loved to wrap his arms around his shoulders.

He tried.

To his surprise, Syaoran was quickly becoming more brazen, his hand drifting up Fai's shirt. They pulled apart, ending the kiss, and locked eyes.

He couldn't not think of all the times he'd looked up into Kurogane's eyes. They weren't the same color, but they reminded him of the ninja's anyway. The same determined eyes.

He wondered if his eyes reminded Syaoran of Sakura's. If so, what did?

"I'm not as inexperienced as you probably think." Syaoran randomly whispered, and despite himself, Fai smiled, finding it a little awkward and cute.

"I'll take your word for it, Syaoran-kun." he whispered back, drawing his hand up and down Syaoran's arm. The boy...man?...was strong, and it felt nice. It sounded pathetic, but he missed the feeling of strong arms around him.

Hopefully his body would be feminine enough for Syaoran too. Hopefully his hands were gentle enough, his voice soft enough, his body small enough, somehow.

Hopefully.

He knew this was what Syaoran really wanted too. To pretend. To try and heal his wounds.

He needed Fai too.

Syaoran lifted Fai's shirt over his head, and Fai shivered at the touch of his cold hands.

Kurogane's hands had been cold too. Especially the artificial one.

He felt terrible, thinking like this, but he head a feeling Syaoran was thinking the same way, so he tried to ignore that.

He leaned up, and kissed Syaoran softly. "Do you really want to do this, Syaoran-kun?" he whispered softly into Syaoran's ear. The brunette only kissed him back as an answer.

"Do you?"

Fai gently put his hand on Syaoran's cheek, and let his silence be his answer.

* * *

 _End of Chapter 3, but not the end of the story as a whole. I had fun writing this chapter. I wanted to be a little more explicit, but this worked nicely enough. I'll probably add more tomorrow._


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4: So A New Day Dawned**

This was how it came to be, that for the first time since Kurogane's death, Fai woke up in somebody's arms. He remembered right away that it wasn't his precious soulmate, and never would be again, but that didn't stop him from snuggling into Syaoran's arms anyway.

He fell back to sleep for a couple more minutes, dreamed of nothing, and when his eyes reopened, he felt, rather than saw, that there was another presence in the room with them now. He looked over his shoulder, and spotted Watanuki in the door frame, looking back at him with wide eyes. When he saw that Fai had seen him, the black haired boy looked down.

"Good morning, Watanuki-kun." Fai said, and the shop owner pulled himself together.

"Good morning, Fai-san. We have breakfast prepared, in case you're hungry."

Fai smiled. "Thank you. We'll be out in a minute."

Watanuki left without another word, barely a look back, and Fai wondered if he would tell anyone what he had seen. The Mokona perhaps. But probably not. If anyone, it would be Doumeki. Fai sat up, pulling his hair into a ponytail, and readying himself for what would most likely be an awkward breakfast.

Syaoran still hadn't woken by the time the wizard was dressed and ready. He considered waking him, looking at his sleeping form. If it was Kurogane, he would jump on him, and then dodge as the angry ninja tried to (or pretended to try to) hit him.

Kurogane.

Kurogane.

Just thinking his name…

Brought tears to Fai's blue eyes.

He turned away from Syaoran and tried to wipe away the tears, but it was no use. His name was echoing through Fai's heart, soul, and mind.

After everything they'd been through.

All the times Kurogane had saved him.

All the times he'd chased Fai around the room, yelling.

Their time in Yama.

Piffle.

Outo.

He was gone.

And Fai would never see him again.

Maybe he'd see a different world's version of Kurogane, somewhere along their travels. But it wouldn't be his Kurogane.

He wouldn't see Kurogane again until the day he died. If he was like Fei Wang Reed, he'd try his hardest to bring Kurogane back, no matter the costs. But he knew it was useless. And Kurogane would be furious with him.

He could try, like Syaoran, to turn back time.

But he knew the consequences.

And he couldn't do that.

Instead, he'd have to live with never seeing him again.

"Kurogane." he sniffled, and seconds later, he felt a warm body press up against his back, and he saw Syaoran's arms wrap around him, holding him from behind.

"Syaoran-kun." he said softly. "Sorry. I didn't mean to wake you up."

"That's alright."

In the light of day, Syaoran looked different. Fai wasn't sure what was different about him though. He seemed more mature, maybe. Or sad. But he'd been like that for months now.

"Do you think…" Fai started. "That he's…" He wasn't sure how to phrase his question, and couldn't get the words out. Luckily, Syaoran seemed to know where he was going with this.

"Mad at you?" he finished, pulling away from Fai. Fai nodded silently, and sat back down, as Syaoran silently thought of his answer. After a minute or so, the boy shook his head, having apparently taken the time to think seriously.

"No. Kurogane-san….he wouldn't be happy with us, that's for sure. But he would never be mad at you for this, Fai-san. He would understand."

Fai thought so too. "Sakura-chan understands too." he said softly, and the way Fai couldn't hear Kurogane's name without tearing up, neither could Syaoran when his princess' name was spoken. His brown eyes welled up with tears, but he managed to hide them away.

"You don't regret it, do you Fai-san?"

Fai didn't have to ask what Syaoran was referring to.

"I don't. Do you?"

Syaoran shook his head. And Fai reached up, since he was still sitting, and Syaoran was standing, and held his hand. Syaoran looked down, and Fai thought he saw something in his eyes. It wasn't love. Not love the way he loved Sakura, or the way Fai loved Kurogane. But it was something. Something like...Fai had a special place in his heart now.

They went to breakfast, which wasn't as awkward as Fai thought it would be. Watanuki pretended not to have seen anything, and didn't say anything when Syaoran and Fai took seats very close together, even scooting a little closer, and Fai was grateful. If he wanted to talk with Syaoran about it, Fai hoped he'd wait until the mage was in a different room.

Days passed, and it wasn't so bad. At one point, Fai found himself alone with Mokona. Watanuki was dealing with a customer, and Syaoran had fallen asleep after he and Fai had spent more time together. Fai had done this a lot more times, and could stay awake afterwards, but Syaoran, however experienced he was, still grew tired afterwards.

"Mokona?" he said, getting the little creature's attention.

"Yes?"

"Do you still want to travel with Syaoran-kun and I?" He'd been wondering it. Mokona seemed much happier here then he had in the last few months, which was understandable. It would make sense that he would want to stay here, with Black Mokona, and Watanuki, in the home Yuuko once lived.

"You could stay here, if you wanted." Fai explained. "We'd understand. I could transport Syaoran and I from world to world."

Mokona was quiet for a couple seconds.

"But then Syaoran and Fai would have trouble communicating."

That was very true.

"We'd learn. To understand each other, at least."

"Does Fai want Mokona to go?" Mokona asked sadly, his little eyes already wet. He looked prepared to stay, if that was what Fai wanted. Fai quickly picked Mokona up, and held him tightly.

"No, Moko-chan. I would hate it if you left. But I want you to be happy. And you'd be much happier here, wouldn't you?"

A few tears dropped onto Mokona, but if he felt them, Mokona didn't say anything.

"Mokona would be happy here. But Mokona's family is you all now. Syaoran, and Fai, and Sakura, and Kurogane. The other two too."

Fai gulped heavily, trying to hold down his building emotions.

"Kurogane and Sakura would be very sad if we split up. We're family. We have to stay together. Right?"

Fai nodded, and even though he was sick of doing it, he cried, and Mokona cried with him. They were only stopped when Syaoran's voice echoed through the house, sounding only a notch under frantic.

"Fai-san!?" he was shouting, and they heard his footsteps running through the house, trying to find the mage. Instantly, Fai felt bad for leaving him alone in the room, and called his name. He was there seconds later, relief washing over his features.

Not sure if he knew Mokona was there, and trying to prevent him from giving anything away, Fai held Mokona up. "Mokona and I were just talking." he said. "Sorry for leaving."

"T-that's alright. Where's Watanuki-san?"

"He has a customer." Mokona said, and Fai scooted over to give Syaoran space to sit down. The boy took the offered spot, and because he could tell that he was still nervous, Fai lay down, putting his head in Syaoran's lap. Mokona would not think too much into this, would he?

Syaoran started pulling his fingers gently through Fai's hair, and the three of them lay there, in silence. Mokona stared off, and every now and again Fai heard sniffles, so he put his hand gently on Mokona's small head. He stared up into's Syaoran's face, and after a few minutes, Syaoran looked back. After checking to see that Mokona wasn't watching, he leaned down, and kissed Fai softly.

It was all so wrong, Fai knew. He'd never be over Kurogane, and he'd never love Syaoran the way he'd loved the ninja. And he knew the same was true for Syaoran.

But this was much, _much_ better than nothing.

* * *

 _Oh, and I don't think I'll get much of this, but I don't want to hear, "Syaoran's straight." Anyone who has read CardCaptor Sakura knows that, at the very least, Syaoran is not against the idea of being attracted to guys. He had no problem thinking he loved Yukito. Power of the moon or no, he still believed he loved Yukito._


	5. Chapter 5

**Sorry my chapter titles are like, extreme BS. I'm really not trying very hard.**

 **Chapter 5: So He Walked**

While still in the country of Japan, visiting Watanuki, Fai decided to go out for a walk. He'd never really had the chance to enjoy the sights of this Japan. It was very different from Kurogane's Japan, which was filled with flowers, and magic, and beautiful buildings. The buildings here were beautiful too, but more in a how do they make buildings that tall kind of way. If he had to pick between them, Fai would pick Kurogane's Japan.

The Japan that he had thought would one day be his home, but now, if he ever saw it again, it would just be a place where he was filled with memories of his loved one. The place where they had finally come together again, after Kurogane had cut off his arm and saved him. Tomoyo had told him what the furisode meant, and he put it on anyway. He knew, right then and there, that Kurogane was the one he loved, and would be the one he'd love forever. The place they'd first kissed, the place they'd first held each other in their arms. The place Kurogane had grown up, and protected, and Kurogane, Kurogane, Kurogane.

"Hey there, beautiful." said a sudden voice, ripping Fai from his memories almost violently, and bringing him crashing back to reality, where there was no Kurogane. No Sakura. Just Mokona and Syaoran.

Standing almost next to him, walking alongside the wizard, was an unfamiliar man. He was tall, taller than Fai, which was rare, and he had dark hair. His skin was even kind of dark. But other that, he bore no resemblance to Kurogane. He wore a bright and flirtatious smile, and his eyes were shining with life. His face was a different structure.

"Hello." said Fai. If this was only a few months ago, he would have smiled back, because Kurogane would have been standing behind or next to him, and Fai loved making Kurogane jealous. He pretended he didn't know what the ninja was talking about, and played innocent, but he knew Kurogane could see it in his eyes.

He wouldn't cheat, would never cheat in a million years, and Kurogane knew that. But it was still fun to get him a little riled up. It was fun to watch Kurogane watch him, as he smiled and laughed at the man talking to him, knowing when they got back to wherever it was they were staying, Kurogane would grab him by the arm, and lead him to a bedroom, all the while Fai playing dumb asking, "Where are we going Kuro-sama? Is there something you need to show me?"

"You look lonely." said the strange man, stepping closer to Fai, who only made a noncommittal sound in his throat, and looked away.

"Do you want to hang out with me?"

Fai knew what the guy was really asking. And, for a brief few seconds, he did consider it. This man looked much more like Kurogane than Syaoran did. It would be much easier to pretend, so long as the guy kept quiet.

"What's your name?" asked Fai, looking over the guy, who grinned again when Fai turned his attention back to him.

"Kuromitsu."

"Kuromistu." Fai repeated quietly, almost ready to go through with it, because maybe this was a sign of some sort. "Would you mind if I called you Kuro-sama? Or Kuro-tan, or Kuro-rin, or Kuro-chu?"

"You can call me whatever you want."

So that's how easy it would be, to make the illusion complete. He could even call this man by Kurogane's nicknames. Sure, the guy easily saying that Fai could call him by those silly nicknames was never something Kurogane would have done, but hey, he should take what he could get.

But what would Syaoran think, if he found out? Fai had a feeling that they boy would pretend it didn't bother him, but they'd both know the truth. And Fai would never do that to Syaoran, not after everything that had happened, and after everything he felt would happen.

"Sorry." came Fai's final reply. "But I can't." He started to walk away, back towards Yuu-Watanuki's shop. He had to remind himself to call it that. Because Yuuko was gone too. Kuromitsu followed behind him. The blonde smiled when he thought how shocked the man would be if he followed him all the way back to the shop, and watched him vanish when entering the shop. He'd probably run home, convinced he'd hit on a ghost.

"Come on. Why not?" he sounded confused, and Fai didn't blame him. He'd more or less been leading the guy on by asking his name, and if he could call him those nicknames. If he'd been planning on saying no, he wouldn't have asked any of those things.

"I have someone waiting for me at home."

"What, like a boyfriend?" Kuromitsu guessed, and Fai paused.

"Yeah. He's my boyfriend."

This didn't sway Kuromitsu, who laughed.

"Well what he doesn't know won't really hurt him."

"No, thank you."

For a second, Kuromitsu vanished from his peripheral vision, so Fai assumed he'd given up. But after a couple more feet, he felt a strong hand grip his wrist, stopping him from going any further.

"Come on. Why don't you come with me?" The way he asked it led Fai to believe it wasn't really a question. He took a deep breath, wondering if he'd have to use his magic. This guy really had no idea who he was messing with.

"Let go of me." he instructed, but Kuromitsu didn't. Fai tried to pull out of his grasp, but Kuromitsu was stronger physically. So magic really was Fai's only choice. But he didn't want to use it. His magic was very strong. He could kill Kuromitsu. And sure, he was kind of a jerk, but he didn't deserve to die.

"I said let go!" he shouted, pulling harder, and drawing the attention of people around them. Still, Kuromitsu didn't let go. If Kurogane had been alive, he'd have knocked this guy across the street, with a single punch.

 _"Don't be so rough, Kuro-tan."_ Fai would have said, and Kurogane would have just huffed under his breath and turned away, grabbing Fai's hand and leading him away with him.

Suddenly, like his thoughts had made it so, Kuromitsu went flying backwards, tumbling along the sidewalk. Fai was pulled along for a second, since the man had a grip on his arm, but he let go, and Fai didn't fall. He watched, stunned and unsure what had happened, until he looked and saw Syaoran standing next to him. He'd used one of his powerful kicks to send the man flying.

"Syaoran-kun." Fai said, surprised by the boy's appearance. Had he been following him? Had he seen him briefly consider going with Kuromitsu?

Kuromitsu, by some miracle, was mostly unhurt, though clearly dazed. Fai and Syaoran watched, and waited to see if he'd be alright. Finally getting his head together, Kuromitsu looked at Syaoran, then back at Fai, and smirked.

"Are you kidding?" he sneered. "He's a kid."

Syaoran menacingly took a few steps closer to Kuromitsu, and the older man stood up and ran off. Once he was gone, Fai turned to Syaoran, and smiled gently.

"You didn't have to be so rough, Syaoran-kun."

Syaoran didn't say anything, just watched Kuromistu vanish from sight. Once he was gone, he reached over, and grabbed Fai's hand. The brunette turned back to Watanuki's shop, and led Fai away with him. Fai didn't argue, and didn't care what the people watching might think of him, a grown man walking away hand in hand with what seemed to be a teenage boy.

"I'm sorry, Syaoran-kun." he said softly.

"For what?" Syaoran asked.

"I considered it. Only for a second."

Syaoran stopped walking, and Fai thought it was because they had come to a cross walk, and needed to wait for the cars to pass. But once they were gone, Syaoran still didn't move, so Fai waited.

"When I was looking for you..." the younger boy finally said, sitting down a few feet back on the ground underneath a tree. Fai sat next to him. He really didn't have a choice, since Syaoran was still holding his hand. "I saw a girl. She saw me too. And she looked a lot like..." He paused, clearly getting himself together as he prepared to say her name. When a few seconds had passed with no progress, Fai stepped up.

"Like Sakura-chan." he offered softly, and Syaoran nodded.

"And she smiled at me...And I thought about it. Going over and talking to her."

"Did you?"

Syaoran shook his head.

"Why not?" Fai asked.

Syaoran looked back over at him, and suddenly pulled him into a hug. Fai rested his head on Syaoran's shoulder, and wrapped his arms around his back, snuggling into him. It was mostly quiet for a few seconds. Only mostly, because cars and people were going by every second. But for the two of them, it was like the background noise wasn't even there.

"Because I thought of you." Syaoran whispered into his ear.

And since there was no point in lying, Fai didn't.

"I thought about you too."


	6. Chapter 6

**Just a short chapter from Syaoran's point of view.**

 **Chapter 6: So He Talked**

"Syaoran-kun, are you sure this is a good idea?"

Syaoran turned to Watanuki, who was standing in the doorway. The brunette was sitting in the room that he and Fai and Mokona were using as a bedroom. Fai himself was out in the yard of the shop, playing with the Mokonas and Maru and Moro. But maybe "playing" wasn't the right word. If Kurogane were here, and Sakura was still waiting for them in Clow, then he'd be playing. Jumping around the backyard, smiling and laughing, and really happy.

But Syaoran knew that Fai wouldn't be doing those things out there. He was probably just standing, following behind the others, smiling emptily as they led the taller man around.

"What?"

Watanuki took in a breath of the pipe he was smoking, and sat down on the ground next to Syaoran.

"You and Fai-san."

Syaoran wasn't surprised. Watanuki wasn't an idiot, and with each passing day he only grew wiser, noticing things he wouldn't have before. He and Fai would probably have had to kissed right in front of him before for him to realize the truth, but now, despite the fact that they were doing everything they could to be secretive, Watanuki had seen through them.

"It's probably not."

But what else could he do? Fai and Mokona were all he had. And he wasn't exactly about to start kissing Mokona. When he was with Fai, he could forget his pain. Sort of. Being with Fai also reminded him every second of the truth, because otherwise, there would be no way he'd be holding Fai in his arms, cradling him close, as Fai tried to seem as small as possible. He knew the blonde was doing it, and he knew why, so he tried to do the same. Tried to seem stronger, and bigger, and everything Kurogane was.

Watanuki didn't question him further, even though Syaoran knew he had to have more questions. But his friend was a kind person, and he let everyone live as they chose.

Suddenly, both Mokona came hopping into the room, looking distressed.

"What's wrong?" Watanuki asked before they could say a word, already standing up, Syaoran right behind him.

"Fai's crying." Black Mokona said, and meanwhile white Mokona had tears in his eyes. Syaoran quickly ran outside, to find Fai on his knees on the ground, Maru and Moro crouched over him worriedly, whispering gently to him.

"Fai-san." Syaoran said, and the blonde looked up, tears streaking down his cheeks, and his eyes already puffy and red, though he hadn't been crying for long.

"Syaoran-kun." he replied, wiping away the tears for a few seconds, before giving up and sobbing. Syaoran hugged him tightly, and he felt Fai's hands go around him and hug him back.

"Come on." Syaoran said gently, pulling lightly. "Let's go back to the bedroom."

Fai didn't argue, and the second they were in the safety of their room, Fai was kissing him desperately.

"Make me forget Syaoran." he whispered pleadingly. "Make me forget him, please." And listening to his voice…

 _Make me forget him._

 _Please._

 _Sakura._

 _Come back._

 _Come back, please._

And then Syaoran was crying too, but he was shaking his head, dropping his head into his hands. "I can't, Fai-san." he whispered hoarsely. "I can't make you forget anymore than I can forget them myself."

And he knew that that would always be the truth. No matter how long he was with Fai, no matter how much he loved the wizard, (and he did love him...didn't he?) he'd never forget Sakura. Fai could never replace her, no matter how hard he tried. And no matter how hard Syaoran pretended, and tried, he'd never be Kurogane.

Fai sobbed loudly, falling onto the ground, and Syaoran knew the same things were running through his head.

"Sakura." he sobbed. "Kurogane. Please!"

"Please!' Syaoran gasped, falling next to Fai. "Come back!"

It had all been for nothing. Everything Syaoran had done, so that Sakura wouldn't die. He'd ruined countless timelines, created holes in the universe, and destroyed lives. All for her.

And now.

She was gone.

* * *

 _Woah. Depressing. They didn't cuddle or anything much in this one, did they? Oh well. Sorry again if the chapters are short and stupid, I really am just writing this at the speed of not caring, and not trying very very hard. I hope somebody likes it anyway._

 _This story probably won't be any longer than say, ten chapters. Maybe thirteenish. Maybe not even ten. Who can say, really?_

 _By the way, I'm totally calling Syaoran and Fai Sci-Fi. It's now my ship name for them. Aren't I clever._

 _I have ideas for other chapters, so they'll probably come quickly enough._


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

Eventually, the time came to leave Watanuki, Maru, Moro, and the black Mokona. The earring was glowing as the two Mokona hugged and cried little tears that they tried to keep hidden from the humans. It was sad to watch, so Fai didn't, turning instead to watch Syaoran and Watanuki, who were having a low conversation of their own. He couldn't hear what it was about, but based on the fact that the young shop owner kept looking over at the blonde, he could guess. They ended their conversation with a still friendly hug, and Fai could see that Watanuki was genuinely sad for them, that he hurt him to see them like this.

"Goodbye, Fai-san." he said, coming over. Fai stood up a little straighter, accepting the short but caring hug that Watanuki bestowed on him.

"See you again, Kimihiro-kun." he said, trying to smile, because he knew that was something he would have done before. He would have smiled, and hugged Watanuki, and then he would have turned to Kurogane, and taken his hand, so that they wouldn't get seperated upon arrival in the next dimension. Kurogane would have protested, but only halfheartedly, and in the end, Fai would have got his way.

Now, instead, Syaoran stood next to him, holding Mokona in his hands. Mokona too, was trying to smile, and it really hurt to see, because before, Mokona wouldn't have had to try, it would have just come naturally.

"Talk to you later!" Mokona promised, and Fai was envious. Even though they were separated most of the time, Black and White Mokona could still talk to each other, still see each other. Syaoran and Fai would never have that again, until the day they died.

And how long would that be? Traveling from world to world really messed with time, and Fai knew they were aging slower than normal. This truth was triple for Fai. He was traveling from time to time, never staying long enough to really age, his magic made him age slower, and so did his vampire blood, that, while he no longer needed blood to survive, still slowed his aging. Or maybe it didn't. He couldn't know for sure.

So, there would most likely come a day that Syaoran would die, and Fai would then go on, on his own. When that day came, he would take Mokona back to the shop. He wouldn't make Mokona stay with him, see him, after he'd well and truly lost almost everything. He would make Mokona go home to where he would be happiest, and then, on his own, he would travel, because he had nowhere to stay.

"Goodbye." Fai said again, waving as Mokona's transport magic surrounded them. Then suddenly, Fai heard the door to the garden open, and he looked up, just in time to see a tall, dark skinned figure, with black hair step out into view.

His heart stopped, and he was about to leap out of the transport circle, but he stopped, because it was only Doumeki.

"Goodbye, Doumeki-kun." he whispered, and then looked away, grabbing Syaoran's hand as the transfer was complete. For a few seconds, it was quiet, as the magic swirled around them. Then the world opened up around them, and the three left over travelers found themselves on the ground.

In front of them was a large, beautiful castle, that, horrifyingly enough, Fai recognized immediately. He also recognized the long black haired girl coming toward them, with a large smile on her beautiful face.

It was Tomoyo.

They were back in Kurogane's world.


	8. Chapter 8

**Psh, forget coming up with chapter names. I'm the only one reading this, (not that I blame you all one bit) so yeah, forget that. If I feel like it, I'll do it later.**

Chapter 8

"Welcome back!" she said cheerfully, striding over with a grace Fai still hadn't seen elsewhere. For a moment, Fai thought she hadn't noticed that Kurogane wasn't with them, but then she spoke again. "Oh uh! Were you seperated from Kurogane upon landing? He'll be very angry Mokona!" she said teasingly. In reply, all three of them were silent. How could they tell her?

How could they tell her that Sakura and Kurogane…

Fai opened his mouth, to try and speak, but the words didn't come. Only a strangled sound of pain that wiped the smile from her face instantly.

"Is everything alright? Are you guys hurt?" she looked them up and down for injuries, obviously thinking that they had just transported from a world where some great injury had occurred. When they still didn't speak, she began to look around, trying to spot her old friend.

"Do you think Kurogane is nearby?"

"Tomoyo…." Syaoran finally said softly, bringing the princess' eyes to him. He was looking back at her, but Fai couldn't manage it. He shut his eyes and lowered his head, still kneeling on the ground where they had landed, trying to hold back the tears that were pressing against his eyelids. He'd let her down. She'd trusted Fai with Kurogane, trusted him to protect Kurogane, and he had failed her.

"What is it?" she asked, but by the way she asked it, her voice soft and already filling with sadness, Fai knew she already knew.

"Kurogane-san...and Sakura...they're both…" He stopped when Fai choked out a sound of distress, clearly not ready to hear the word again. It already played in his head on repeat. How many times would he have to say it, hear it said?

"No…" she gasped, and Fai finally looked up. His vision was blurry, but he could see the tears forming in her eyes, that only seconds before, had been filled with life and laughter.

"They're dead." Syaoran managed to whisper and Fai's body racked with a held back sob that he couldn't quiet contain. The beautiful princess looked at them, back and forth, silent for a second, before she fell to her knees, and in front of them, buried her face in her hands and began to cry.

*(*)

"We're still trying to find a way to bring back my parents." Syaoran told her, much later, after things had settled down. When Tomoyo had begun to cry, her older sister and Souma had both come running out, weapons drawn, but slowing in confusion when they only saw three familiar figures. And Tomoyo had somehow, despite all her sobbing and wailing, managed to tell them.

They were both gone now, somewhere Fai didn't know. Tomoyo was with them, sitting in a dark and silent room, eyes red and puffy, and even though she'd calmed down, she still had silent tears trailing down her face. At these words though, she sniffed, and said something that neither Fai or Syaoran had never conisdered, up until that moment.

"But...how can you bring back Sakura-chan...if her host body is...dead?"

Around him, the air grew still. Fai, somehow, had managed to put that thought aside. It hadn't occurred to him, through all the grief he'd been busy experiencing. But now...hearing it said. He looked at Syaoran, who to his surprise, and despite his words, didn't seem as shocked. He was simply looking at Fai guiltily, and Fai realized the truth. It had occurred to Syaoran from the beginning that they would be able to bring back Sakura. But he had kept silent, because he had noticed, that, somehow, despite all odds, Fai hadn't realized it yet.

Sakura. His beautiful daughter. The girl that had been by his side, and pulled him through many dark times. Who had held him with injured hands as acid rain fell around them and told him she was happy he was alive. She who had smiled brightly, and laughed when all he wanted to do was break down and cry.

He would never see her again either.

"Sakura...chan." he managed to choke out, and then, he began to hyperventilate, his breaths coming to fast as too many thoughts crashed into him. Sakura and Kurogane were gone. His clone Sakura was gone now too. He only had Mokona and Syaoran, and the Syaoran he'd originally known. If they found a way to bring him back, they'd have to tell him. And what would he do!?

"Fai-san." Syaoran whispered, hugging him gently. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you."

"She's gone...Syaoran? Sakura-chan...is gone too?"

He felt wet drops fall into his hair, and Syaoran nodded jerkily, barely managing a, "Yes."

And Fai wept again, and he could hear Tomoyo and Mokona joining him. Syaoran was silent, and that anchored Fai, who held on as tightly as he could.


End file.
